


Weakness

by JessieClexa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Love/Hate, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Some Humor, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:39:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5840185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessieClexa/pseuds/JessieClexa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the mountain, Lexa has been losing herself until the point she is close to breaking, she regret what happen to Clarke causing herself to be in a dangerous position. Will Clarke be able to save her? Will Clarke want to save her or give a shit about her? Will she forgive her? Lots of Clexa! Can Lexa prove to Clarke that she can trust her again and if she does will they reconcile?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Weakness

 

Love is weakness , Love is weakness these thoughts ran through Lexa’s mind over and over again as she left Clarke and her people behind trying to break into the mountain. As she looked into Clarke’s eyes, she didn’t need to know how much that decision would lose Clarke, to lose herself. When she accepted that deal, she knew that there was no turning back this was it the end to her humanity she got nothing left to hold her back. When she was younger, when she was still training to be heda, she always believed that it was an honor to be chosen but now she is starting to have doubts. The girl who fell from the sky, Clarke who thrust into her heart like a storm she didn’t know what hit her until she fell hard. 

Lexa clutched her bleeding shoulder as she watched Clarke’s face, there was anger, betrayal and despair in them she couldn’t bear to look anymore as she walked back down the mountain retreating her army. Throughout, the journey flashes of Costia, Anya, Gustus and her parents crashed into her like a tidal wave threatening her to lose her facade. She succeeded in getting her people out but the cost was too big, she lost everything all because she was the Commander. As she went back to her war tent, she told Indra to stay guard outside and don’t come in. She started to walk towards the map of the clans as she roughly brushed the map of the clans off the table leaving it bare, bare like how she is now there was no mask anymore, just Lexa. Lexa the girl who lost everything, everyone. 

Just as she was about to take a walk, she noticed something near her bedside. She slowly walked to pick up the object as she delicately stroke the phoenix symbol on the wooden box. She held onto the lid for dear life not wanting to open old wounds but of course her heart wouldn’t listen as she opened it revealing Costia’s hair. Costia, her first love, her moon, sunshine and stars. Clarke who was passionate, fiery, and everything she desire. 

“Heda! Intruder!” Her army yelled snapped her out of her thoughts as she rushed outside gripping tightly onto her sword. Indra stood by her as she observes what’s happening, her grounders was holding a man as they kicked his knee as he knelt before her. Lexa looked at the man, white warpaint Azegda. The Ice Nation. She asks her army as they told her he was spying outside. 

 

Lexa growled as she says, “Why are you here?” 

The man smirked as the blood on his face is evident, he replied, “Commander, you are weak our queen is the rightful leader.” 

Indra unsheathed her sword as the keen blade shimmer at the moonlight, the sword was ready to kill by command. She was ready to kill him as Lexa held her hand up stopping her movements. Lexa unsheathed her sword advancing towards him, thoughts once again consumed her balancing the right and wrongs of this action. She remembers Costia kind words saying how she would never leave her and Gustus telling her to be strong. Her eyes slowly changed from her calm green eyes into eyes that were fierce and stormy as she brought the blade down onto The Ice Nation warrior. His body fell limp as Lexa believes The Ice Nation want war? Then I will bring them war what else could she lose now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyliah and Clarke sexy time and nightmares but Lexa isn't the one comforting her. Hope everyone likes it! Happy season 3!

The black panther stepped within the dim forest as it heard a squeak, it glanced ahead and saw the rabbit being stuck in the trap. Blood was leaking through the trap, the panther could smell the scent of food through the air. It locked its eyes on the target as it stepped closer and closer to its prey. 

Clarke gripped tightly onto her dagger as she looked down from the tree to observe the moments of the black panther. It was going closer to her trap, her hair was dark amber now and she is wearing grounder clothes. The panther was getting close one, two, three steps. She calculated the steps as she held in her breath and jumped down ready to kill the panther, the panther was a strong opponent as it advances towards her. She tilts her dagger upwards ready to make her kill, the panther launched onto her clawing deep into her back as the dagger plunged into the panther killing it successfully. Clarke dragged the panther back to the trading post as she greeted Nyliah. 

Nyliah, Clarke believed she can call her, her friend. Since the mountain, she just wandered all over the place, never settling into one place. When she camped out on the cold ground, she heard whispers that’s when she knew everyone was hunting her. She decided to change her whole image to escape the hunters. Nyliah taught her Trigedasleng as she could speak it fluently, she slowly enjoyed the company of Nyliah but she still won’t trust anyone. Clarke glanced to Nyliah’s wrist, she was wearing an Ark bracelet but how could she get that? 

As Nyliah’s hands reach for her arm, she asked for the explanation of Ark bracelet just as Nyliah was about to ask her the door creaked open. In came, two hunters dressed in similar grounder clothing. Clarke looked down as she felt eyes staring at her, it wasn’t any regular customer. The hunter gave Nyliah a drawing and asked her if she knows where the person went. Clarke doesn’t need to look at the drawing to know that was her, she gripped tightly onto the basket as she waits for the hunters to leave. 

Nyliah answered them as they went away, Clarke was relieved as she advances towards Nyliah who held her hands to bed and started cleaning her wounds. Nyliah stared at Clarke wound, the claws dug deep as she gently cleaned it. Nyliah was curious about Clarke, Wanheda people called her. As she asked about the mountain, she realized she made a mistake as Clarke told her to not talk. 

Clarke grabbed her hands as she pushed her down to bed and began to kiss her fiercely, the warmth of Nyliah engulfed Clarke, her lips tongued Nyliah causing her to moans. As Clarke was about to explore more, Nyliah flipped her, now Clarke was on the bottom as Nyliah took off her ragged shirt revealing her tattoo. Nyliah was beyond intrigued with Clarke, she was supposed to be the Commander of Death but her aura expresses regret and not pride of being the commander of death. They both explored each other tongues and pleasured each other through the night. 

“Please don’t make me do this!” Clarke pulled the lever as the radiation spread through level 5. Everyone collapsed within seconds, Clarke’s eyes filled with tears and regret as she watched everyone die. Bodies was everywhere, their faces was burned and Jasper was holding Maya devasted, his heart wrenching sobs echoed through the room. Clarke walked away from Camp Jaha as she looked at her people for one more time, Lexa standing in front of her saying she made this choice with her head and not her heart. 

“NO!” Clarke gasped as she grabbed the furs, her head is filled with sweat as she looked next to her. Nyliah is asleep but Clarke felt empty, she doesn’t belong here why was she here? She knew the answer but she just doesn’t want to acknowledge it. She grabbed some food as she went out the trading post, before she could make another step cold metal touched her neck. A voice behind her spoke, “Hello, Wanheda.” Clarke gulped as her vision became black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa on the verge on going off the rails, Costia/ Lexa flashback and Luna! 
> 
> Ai Hod Yu In = I love you   
> Ai Hodnes = My love

A smooth, delicate hand ran through Lexa’s dark hair as she indulged in the feeling, it was the hands of a healer. The smooth, silky hands transmit warmth and love. Only two people’s hands felt like that, it was either Costia or Clarke.

“Leksa, Leksa” Lexa instantly looked up to examine the person who is speaking, it was Costia. Her head was still intact and her warmth radiant smile spread across her face making Lexa feel ecstatic. Costia tenderly stroke her face, she closed her eyes memorized Lexa’s eyes; lips, nose, eyebrows and jaw. Each touch causes Lexa’s heart to beat rapidly as she looks into the warm brown eyes of her first love. Costia was a healer, she never liked fighting. She would always end to Lexa’s wounds after training with Anya and hold her in her arms telling her everything will be okay. As Lexa was thinking how Costia was here, she was supposed to be dead. Suddenly, soft, gentle, familiar lips capture hers pulling her in a spell. 

They kissed passionately as Costia softly said, “Leksa, Ai Hodnes. You have been losing yourself. My heart hurts seeing you like this, my love you need to wake up.” 

Lexa reached for her lover as she entwined their hands, their eyes lingering on each other. She tenderly caresses Costia’s face not wanting to forget, not wanting to let go ever. “You are my moon and stars, you are everything I hold dear to me, there is nothing left to fight for. The Ice Queen needs to die.” says Lexa as she looked at Costia. Costia noticed the despair in Lexa’s voice, she always perceived the little things about Lexa, those moments is what makes Lexa and not the Commander. 

Costia smiled sadly as she put her hand above Lexa’s heart, she knows how much Lexa loves her but her heart now yearns for another. She held Lexa’s hands and said, “You have Clarke.” 

Clarke, that’s all it took for the mighty commander to break down in tears. Clarke, who was strong, fierce and protective. She started to feel again with Clarke, every minute with her made her feel alive but since she betrayed her there was nothing left. Lexa glanced down, she couldn’t look at Costia. She had failed the two women she loves, maybe this was the life of the commander to be forever alone. There couldn’t be love, her people will always come first. 

Costia tilted her chin guiding Lexa’s eyes to glanced at hers, Lexa focused on her, she continued, “Fight for Clarke, she needs you. I can see you feel again with her, she makes you strong. Leksa, let someone into your beautiful heart again. You love fiercely, show her the real Leksa don’t put too many walls up.” 

As the image of Costia became blurred, she realizes she wouldn’t have much time with her first love. She held tightly onto her hand hoping to grasp her back to reality and not delve into the secluded darkness. Costia kissed her one last time as she told Lexa, “Ai hod Yu In Leksa.” Lexa felt something dripping down her face as she used her hand to touch, what is that strange feeling. She felt warm water, her tears. She didn’t cry since her parents died and Costia but now losing Clarke scared her more than ever. 

“COSTIA!” Lexa jolted up as sweat covered her face and body, the dream was too real, she was experiencing Costia’s death again. She could still remember the day she got the box back from the Ice Nation, that was a day she wouldn’t forget. All the rage, anger and devastation came crashing onto her like a tidal wave. She wasn’t sure how she could keep her self-control by not attacking the brutal, ruthless Queen of the Ice Nation. She despised the title of heda that day, she couldn’t avenge her lover. She grabbed her sword as she walked into the woods and practice. Indra watched from a distance as she observed the commander. 

A few hours later, as the commander finished practicing she heard her scouts coming back. Her scouts were holding a grounder in Ice Nation clothes, she inspected carefully this wasn’t part of the army so who could he be? Lexa scrummages through the clothes of the Ice Nation warrior and noticed a pin reserved for royalty, she went to grab a cloth and scrub the white paint off the face of the warrior as she smirked.   “Bring him to the dungeon!” ordered Lexa just as she follow her warrior towards the dungeon watching closely at the Ice Nation warrior. Her warriors chained him to the cell as she ordered again, “Leave us.” They bowed as Lexa approached the cell greeting him, “Hello, Enso Queen Nia’s son.” Lexa finally has leverage on her hands, the Ice Queen would love this guest. 

A pale horse galloped through the woods as it advanced to a clearing of boats, the messenger galloped faster as he arrived at his clan. The Floukru, the boat clan who values peace. The messenger yelled: “Commander Luna!” 

Luna emerged from the tent as she greeted her messenger who was covered in sweat and dirt, she approached him, “What is the issue Trian?” 

Trian bowed to her as he gave her a letter, Luna took it from his messenger hands as she gasped. 

Luna ordered Trian urgently, “Prepare the horses, we are heading to TonDC.” 

Trian asked carefully, “Why the rush commander, what is the problem?” 

Luna calmly answered him, “Trian, Lexa killed thousands of Ice Nation warriors the coalition will be on the edge of breaking. I owe her a favor, we must get to TonDC quickly before Lexa does something reckless.”


	4. Chapter 4 Flashbacks and Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets kidnapped and Lexa gets nightmares
> 
> Thank you for leaving Kudos! It means a lot to me! :) Please comment too if you like the story :)

The man gripped tightly onto the strong rope as he dragged Clarke through the wilderness, Clarke winced as the rope rubbed against her hands she could feel the cut on her palm. She has a gag in her mouth so she couldn’t scream for help, who the heck is this guy why is he taking her? As she looked up at the sky, her radiant sun distorted her vision. She was thinking if she faints then he would have to stop and that be her only chance, she skipped a few rocky stones as she chose the right spot and fell down. The man noticed the rope isn’t that heavy anymore as he looked behind the Wanheda fallen on top of the rocks. He advanced towards her as he kicked her body a little bit but there was no movement. 

He murmured: “Seems like the Wanheda is human after all.” 

He grabbed his flask and went to the stream to gather some water for her as he felt a rope around his neck choking his throat, he grabbed her as he flip her over and pushed her head down the stream. Once he sees the color red of her hair goes away, he pulls her back up the color blond was evident shining in the sunlight. Just like how the people described it the Wanheda has the sun-kissed hair and ocean blue eyes. He has his prize after all. He put back the gag on her mouth as he grabbed her rope and lead her walking again, once he got closer to the place he was required to bring her to. Three men came at them, he instantly recognizes them. Azgeda, once his people but now they are hunting him too. Clarke watched the exchanged but understanding none of it but she recognize all of them are the Ice Nation, she was determined to get out of here she just needed a distraction. 

The man killed all three of them with ease as he went to gather Wanheda, as he picked her up she sliced him with the dagger across his stomach. He groaned as he lifts her up placing a knife near her throat. 

“If you wanted to kill me, you would have already!” yells Clarke as the man’s eyes focused on her his voice equally threatening as he responded: “There is still time.” They continuing walking towards the forest as Clarke noticed his wound is affecting him, he was weak now was the choice to escape but could she make it? Suddenly, a distance roar echoed through the forest. They stopped their movements as the man listened but Clarke knew what was coming she encountered it before and this was the perfect distraction. 

 

Pauna. 

 

As they were about to run the large beastly gorilla starting sprinting towards them, Clarke grabbed her dagger from the ground to cut the rope as she run and run into the wilderness. 

“YOU BETRAYED ME!” Clarke slapped her across the face, her face stung but not as much as her heart. Her heart was slowly chipped away, the women she love her eyes was red with tears, Lexa’s hands slowly reaching to her face to feel her face one more time. Her heart was beyond broke, she lost everything, everything dear to her. She doesn’t need the Ice Queen to take it away she took it away herself by making that choice. Maybe love really is a weakness? 

As Clarke disappeared Costia appeared, her throat has a red bloody knife wound stretching through her head along with her arms and legs. Lexa’s fell onto the floor as Costia walked closer to her, her eyes filled with rage, not the warm comforting eyes. “YOU LET ME DIE! I LOVED YOU!” Lexa began to sob as she felt her mind is losing control, she want the images to disappear but they won’t stop. It was like the never ending hell she was receiving, this was the test of the Commander but will she pass it? 

Gustus appeared on the tree with Lexa’s sword still stuck in his chest, he weakly said, “All I ever wanted was to protect you why wouldn’t you believe me?” Lexa didn’t look up she knew all her demons, she keep on replying I’m sorry as she continued to cry. 

Lastly, her parents appeared, Lexa heard screams as she looked up. She instantly regretted it as this was the image she was trying to remove throughout the years but now its branded into her mind again. Her village was massacred, her people screaming and being slashed by swords. Her parents were being killed in front of her, their last breath saying only one word Heda. 

Lexa shot up through her bed, this time, there was no sweat. Her calm warming green eyes slowly turned into stormy eyes as she walked out her tent calling Indra to take her down to the prisoner. She was done being merciful, love is weakness and the Triku needed a strong commander and that was what she is going to be. The Ice Nation and the others want a war she is ready for them.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Lexa strapped her sword into the holster as she strolled down the brick stairs of the dungeon, her eyes fierce. As she approached her target, she ordered in a strong voice: “Open the cell!” Her guards opened the cell as Enso stares fiercely at Lexa, his gaze filled with hatred and vengeance. 

Lexa smirked as she approached him: “Enso what is your mother planning?” 

Enso let out a mockery laughter as he respond: “Commander Lexa, what do you think? Of course to take your place and kill you.” 

In a flash, Lexa grabbed his collar and threw him against the wall. His back hit the wall with a loud thud as her guards took a glance but shrug it off. She continued saying: “The Ice Queen broke the coalition, she will have a war.” Enso shrugged and laugh maniacally with his lip glazed with blood: “You will have a war Lexa, we are done having you as our commander you are weak. You are weak for another and we will find her and then we will get that information out of her just like we did with the other. What was her name?” 

He pretended to think as he looks at Lexa’s face, her facade was on but inside she was breaking she was bubbling with anger. He grinned as he continued: “Aaah! Costia that was her name isn’t it? She died screaming your name.” Lexa couldn’t take it anymore but she remember she has something of his too, she calmly let go off his collar as she countered: “Well Enso, you do remember Malia right? I saw her coming to Polis one day and she was looking for you. I still have her in Polis, should I be weak and torture her?” Enso grin rapidly vanished at the name of Malia, how dare she capture her houmon. Lexa noticed the change instantly as she smirked, she advanced to call her guards as she looks back at Enso: “We will meet at tomorrow first light.” Enso pulled against the metal chains strongly but they wouldn’t budge he yelled: “DON” T YOU DARE TOUCH, MY WIFE!” 

Lexa walked back into her tent as she called Neme her trusted warrior after Indra, Neme arrived in an instant. Name who was an old childhood friend of hers, long braided black hair bowed as she greeted: “Heda.” Lexa nodded as she whispered to her: “Bring me Wanheda, don’t bring her harm or I will have your head.” Neme gulped and nodded as she ran off into the woods. 

Clarke ran faster than she ever ran before in her lifetime, she felt like running an everlasting marathon. As the roars disappeared within her running range, she walked near the cliff trying to find out where she was. She glanced around; tees, rocks everything was the same but when she looked to the horizon she gulped, why does it always lead here? Clarke looked at the mountain, Mount Weather where all her bad and torture memories laid. As she looked closely there were movements, why were people there? She looked more closely as she saw Bellamy and her mom. No, they are moving to Mount Weather? Clarke glanced back into her forest, she couldn’t face them yet she was still dealing with her demons, she saw a shadow as she yelled: “Come out now, I know you are here.” 

The stranger came out of the forest revealing Neme, Clarke looked at her she is in grounder clothing is it Lexa’s people? Did Lexa tell her to find her? Clarke mind filled with questions but the thought of seeing Lexa again brought he mix emotions. Neme stayed silent as she sat near Clarke. 

Clarke was starting to get frustrated as she got up and said: “Why are you here?” 

Neme simply answered: “I was sent here to protect you.” 

Luna galloped through the forest through day and night, she needed to get to Polis fast before there is a blood bath. As she sees the city slowly emerging from the shadow of trees, she smiled softly. Polis is a beautiful city to behold, she remember her joyful memories when she was a kid playing with Lexa. Lexa has too much weight on her shoulders and she knows one day she will break, the break will be horrifying and she want to be there for her. 

She finally arrived at the city gates as she announced: “I am Luna of the Flokru, I have come to see the commander.” 

The two Polis guards nodded as they opened the large metal gates, Luna gasped as she dismounted her horse petting it softly before bringing it to the stables. Polis never failed to amaze her, the regular citizens of Polis that could bring a smile to her face. How warm and welcoming they are, the smell of the delicious food. The merchants and the blacksmith making their proud weapons to hope one day be used to the commander. She walked straight to the entrance of the Commander’s building as she saw Indra. Indra glared at her, clearly not liking her as she said: “Luna.” Luna greeted her with a warm smile: “Indra, I’m here to see Lexa.” 

Indra hesitated and ask her: “What is the issue?” 

Luna sighed, this will not be easy she continued: “Lexa is on the verge of breaking and you know that, Indra let me in.” Indra sighed as she moved aside letting Luna pass, Polis guards brought her straight up to the commanders chambers. Luna opened the door and saw Lexa looking out the window her left arm has a huge gash, Luna stepped into the room announcing her prescene: “Lexa.” 

Neme has been following Clarke for a day, she was helping her kill the bears that tried to attack her and caught fish for her. Clarke was feeling good but she knows its time to face Lexa and her anger, as Neme sat down on the log with her Clarke ask: “What is your name?” Neme answered: “Neme.” Clarke nodded letting the name sink in, she continued to ask: “Neme, how is Polis?” At the name of Polis, Neme lips curve upward producing a small smile: “Polis is beautiful, you can feel the peace around there.” Clarke looked at the warrior, her one word lingers through her mind peace that’s what all her people ever wanted. Clarke said: “Neme, tomorrow take me to the Commander.” Neme nodded as Clarke slept and she guarded the Wanheda. 

Roan outran the Pauna as he bloodily approached the Ice Nation, the Ice Nation warriors saw him and opened the doors letting him in. Roan approached the main room as he bowed down on the freezing ground, Roan greeted: “Ai Kwin.” Queen Nia turned around, white warpaint covered her face. Her eyes glazed pierced through Roan making him gulp, she replied dangerously: “Where is Wanheda?!” Roan responded: “She escaped.” Queen Nia gripped her fists tightly as she walked closely to Roan and kicked him in the chest, she gripped his shirt tightly: “I give you one more chance, you fail I will have your head and your family.” Roan nodded and left the queen going deeper into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ai Kwin = my queen


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5 

Lexa observed the footsteps, she instantly recognized them in a heartbeat Luna was like her sister, her best friend. Lexa put on her facade and turned facing Luna, she approached her and nodded: “Luna of Floukru.” Luna rolled her eyes observing Lexa, she doesn’t need to be formal with her, she was her friend her trusted friend. Lexa’s eyes didn’t hold the gentle green anymore, it was slightly darker with just a tiny gap of light green just like how Lexa’s humanity is. 

Luna stepped close to Lexa and hold her hand saying: “Lexa, put down your guard its just me and no one else is here.” Lexa raised her head in confusion replying: “What are you talking about Luna I’m being formal.” Luna sighed, this is not the first time Lexa heart has been touched by the god of war, when Costia was taken Lexa has gone bloodthirsty. She wanted to kill every Ice Nation clan, the rage in her eyes the war paint covered in red by the blood of her enemies. She can distantly hear the god of war laughing as he enjoyed the war Lexa was bringing to entertain him. 

Luna held Lexa’s shoulders tightly as she demanded: “Lexa, what is going on? Why did you kill the Ice Nation warriors? Do you want to break the coalition you that you worked so hard for?” Lexa’s eyes seem to respond to her as she think carefully what to say, she then looked up at Luna her eyes blank with emotion saying: “The Ice Nation attacked us, she wants a war she got one. The coalition was already on the verge on breaking. My coalition could rise after I kill the Ice Queen.” 

Luna couldn’t understand what she was saying how could she think this? Luna held Lexa hand, it was cold Lexa hand was usually warm like her heart but now it's ice cold. Luna looked at her with concern saying: “If you die Lexa what about the ones who loves you, what will they do?” Lexa shrugged and detach herself from Luna: “I have no one that's what makes a leader a great one.” Luna gasped, who was this Lexa? Before she could reply, a loud knock was heard on the wooden door. Lexa said: “Enter!” Indra walked in announcing: “Heda, Neme is back.” 

Clarke stood in front of the gates of Polis, Clarke observed the capitol city of the grounders and she was stunned. Everything was beautiful, she felt more relieved the sculpture of the building was breathtaking and the smile on people’s faces enjoying this peace. As the messenger whispered into the guards of Polis, they opened the door for them and Neme and Clarke walked to the Commanders chambers. Clarke walked inside as the voice Clarke missed came flowing through her ears like a beautiful music note, she announced: “Leave us.” Neme bowed and exited the room, leaving only Lexa and Clarke. 

Lexa turned around as Clarke observed her, she honestly missed the commander but when she sees Lexa she remembers when she betrayed her on the mountain. All the deaths that still haunts her every night, rage started to bubble within her. Lexa walked out from the shadows that covered her giving a clear view for Clarke and she was stunned, Lexa looked younger without warpaint and beautiful. 

Lexa looked at Clarke, her eyes soften and said: “Clarke.” 

Clarke saw the dagger on the commander’s belt as she reached for it and advance to place it dangerously on Lexa’s neck.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6 

Lexa’s arms were by her side, she didn’t make a move to stop Clarke if Clarke wanted to kill her then so be it. She already caused the woman she loves that much pain, she doesn’t want to add anymore to it. Clarke edges the dagger closer to her neck drawing a little trace of blood. 

Lexa’s broken voice whispered: “I’m sorry.” 

Clarke looked into Lexa’s vibrant green eyes but she noticed they are not as vibrant as before but a darker shade took over. Tears began to overwhelm her, she couldn’t kill Lexa. Something always draws her back to Lexa, she couldn’t understand why. She turned around not wanting to let Lexa see she was crying, Lexa doesn’t care for her she left her on the mountain she repeated those words again and again in her head. She unclenched the dagger, the dagger dropped on the floor causing a loud thud. Lexa spoke: “Clarke I need you.” 

Clarke looked back in disbelief, anger once again taking over her. She fumingly said: “YOU NEED ME? WHAT HAPPEN WHEN I NEED YOU?” Lexa nodded and replied: “I won’t apologize for making that decision, I made that decision by what’s best for my people. But now your people are in danger and I want to protect them and….you.” Clarke clutched Lexa’s collar saying: “I don’t need you protecting me. I know why you need me. What I did made you look weak at Mount Weather, now the Ice Nation is threatening to overthrow you.” Lexa gulped and said: “Clarke, I want your people to be my people if you bow before me, you can join the coalition and be the thirteen clan.” Clarke shake her head again and again saying: “Why would I join your coalition when you can’t even protect your own? Costia died and you didn’t avenge her!” 

Clarke looked widely at Lexa when she realize what she said, she never mean to say that but the anger took control of her and she wanted to hurt Lexa. Those words hit Lexa like a bullet going through her bulletproof vest and straight into her heart. Lexa looked down and nodded as she moved to the door, before she opened the door she said: “You can leave whenever you like Clarke, I will order the guards to escort you to your mother I know the Sky people must miss you.” Clarke observed Lexa’s face, she knew she hurt her badly the walls that Lexa put up was all down when she was with Clarke and Clarke decided to take down Lexa while she was vulnerable. Lexa’s face showed pain and sadness when she said Costia, she buried her face in her hands and tears continued to slide down her hair. When did life get so hard? 

Lexa was practicing with Aiden, her child warriors as they use wooden sticks. Aiden was improving greatly, she got hit by him on the face as Titus appeared observing their practice. As Aiden left, Lexa continued practicing as she noticed someone near her she turned around stunned to see Costia in her same beautiful dress the night she was killed. She was walking close to her saying: “Lexa…mi hodness kill the Ice Queen, the Ice Queen tortured and beheaded me. Kill each Ice Nation clan, they won’t care about the coalition they don’t even care about any of the clans. Eliminate them and then we will have peace then you can come to me. We will live together.” Suddenly the vision turned red, Costia stabbed her using her dagger her eyes was red with fury as she yelled: “WHY DIDN” T YOU AVENGE ME! I WAS SCREAMING FOR YOUR NAME AND YOU DIDN”T COME!” Lexa broke down crying as tears wrecked her body causing her to tremble, Clarke was taking a stroll in Polis as she noticed a dark figure on the ground. 

She approached her as she turned her over, it was Lexa. Lexa was trembling but she was unconscious she looked like she was in a dream state. Panic raised inside of Clarke, what happened to Lexa? Clarke softly held Lexa’s pale face saying: “Hey hey, Lexa, Lexa look at me.” But there was no response, Lexa’s eyes was filled with panic as she whispered softly: “Clarke just kill me.” Clarke stopped her movements, she observed Lexa she needs to pull her out of the nightmare. Clarke shook her violently as she says: “Lexa, Lexa wake up!” Lexa continued twitched as she Clarke desperately whispered: “Lexa, wake up I need you.” That word seems to do the trick, Lexa woke up from her dream state as she looked at Clarke who was holding her. She missed her warmth, her embrace, and everything about her. 

Lexa softly apologized as she went to leave but Clarke held her arm saying: “I want to be in your coalition.” Lexa was surprised as she looked at Clarke, she nodded as Clarke went to prepare. The ceremony was beautiful, as Clarke bowed to her Lexa announced her coalition but Ice Nation delegate rejected. Clarke glanced at Lexa seeing how she would resolve this issue. Lexa gritted as she said: “The sky people will become our thirteen clan, the Ice Nation is marching upon us how do you explain that?” The Ice Nation delegate just shrug and approached her: “Our Queen should rule not you.” Lexa sheathed her sword as she slash and plunge it into the heart of the delegate saying: “She will never get to.” Clarke watched and was surprised to see Lexa like this, something was different with Lexa her eyes seem to darken and her nightmares seem to bother her. Luna looked away as the blood splattered throughout the floor, the door pushed wide open as the Ice Queen entered, her face curled up into a smile. 

She smirked saying: “Lexa.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE!! THis is my longest chapter yet please enjoy! 
> 
> Ai Kwin = My Queen   
>  Ste Em Odon = Is it done?

Chapter 7 

In the throne room, everyone held their breaths. Their hearts beating rapidly with fear as they watched the Ice Queen enter the room. Everyone anticipated of the two rival clans if those two clans clash they would gain. No one uttered a sound, the only sound that was heard was the Ice Queen sharp ring tapping along her Azgeda wooden chair. She strolled into the room gracefully advancing towards Lexa who was looking at her with a disgusted face. She smirked she knew Lexa hate her. As she observed the other clan leaders, her smile grew wider. Everyone fears the Azgeda, they are ruthless; coldhearted people and the queen ruled by instilling fear to her people. 

Queen Nia glanced down to the floor, where the dead body of her delegate laid soaked with blood. Her eyes glanced towards the clan leaders as they looked aside, she walked towards Lexa greeting her: “Lexa.” 

Lexa gritted her teeth holding in the rush of anger coursing through her veins as she nodded: “Queen Nia.” 

Nia looked to Lexa and then towards the dead body as she said: “Lexa, what does this mean?” Lexa kept her hand on her sword gripping it tightly as she flatly answered: “Your delegate disrespect me so he should be punished.” She confusedly asked: “How did my dear delegate disrespect you?” Lexa groaned, she knew Nia is testing her patience as she could feel Clarke eyes on her. She answered: “He didn’t bow to me when other clan leaders did.” 

Nia nodded as she proceeds to ask: “I wonder why?” 

Lexa knew where this is going, she steps dangerously close to Nia as now they are face to face asking: “Queen Nia, are you doubting my leadership?” 

At Mount Weather, Gina was searching for the clues to stop the missile while Raven and Sinclair was finding different combinations too. In the hidden room of level 5, there stood a man with white warpaint. He held his digital watch as he set the timer, he placed it on the counter as he applied a white paint on his face on top of his scars.   
Nia smirked as he called his advisor, she whispered in his ear: “Nau, alert em.” 

The advisor nodded as he pressed a similar button on the foreign digital watch. The Ice Nation warrior in Mountain Weather stopped the beeping button, he placed two hidden daggers inside his sleeve and advanced towards the control room. He saw a woman as he grabbed her from behind, attempting to choke her. He started to stab her repeatedly until she fell to the floor. He pressed the codes as he looked at the time, his mission was done he can finally go back to his queen. He ran rapidly towards the exit as he noticed two people chasing him. Once he ran out to the door the Mount Weather exploded behind him. 

Octavia looked at her brother as she went back to Arcadia with the group, she couldn’t believe he would kill them that wasn’t Bellamy. She jumped off her horse as she went to hug Raven, she was really glad she was okay but the 36 Arkers inside was innocent. As she looks at the Arkers, she felt empty she doesn’t belong here she never felt like she belong in there. All she ever had was Bellamy until she met Lincoln he and the Trikru made her felt like she has a home. She held Raven until she could manage to get some sleep, she misses Lincoln when he comes back she will go with him. 

Lexa stood on her throne as she command: “Please Queen Nia, take a seat we have matters to discuss.” 

Nia nodded as she sat on her Ice Nation chair, she smirked as she looked at the new chair located near Lexa. The chair was too close, her clothing was Skaikru. Could this girl be another one of Lexa’s weakness again? She looked at Lexa and asked: “Lexa, who is this new clan?” Lexa gulped and inhaled, she does not want the Ice Queen to focus on Clarke. Before Lexa could announce about Clarke, Clarke spoke up. 

“I am the thirteen clan, Skaikru.” said Clarke as she looked at Nia. Clarke observed Nia, her eyes were ice cold she couldn’t see any softness in them. Her eyes were just bloodthirsty and angry. She laughed said: “Skaikru? Our allies that Lexa left behind?” Clarke gulped, the wound is still fresh and deep and the Ice Queen spreading salt on that wound hurt a lot. Clarke nodded and plainly said: “Yes, but we have an understanding. I bow to the commander and become the thirteen clan.” Lexa didn’t miss the word commander, Clarke always called her Lexa and hearing the word commander come from her lips hurt greatly. 

Nia observed their interaction carefully clearly enjoying the pain within their eyes, Lexa cleared her throat and asked the main question: “Queen Nia, what is your intention your army march among Polis.” 

Nia shrugged her shoulders and replied: “It is military practice. Our people wanted to observe Polis as well.” She smirked as she saw Lexa’s brain thinking, she couldn’t do anything all clans are welcomed to be in Polis. Lexa groaned as she nodded: “Yes, Queen Nia.” Lexa carried on with the discussion of Polis and the clans trades as they were dismissed, the leaders all left leaving behind Clarke and Lexa as they stared at each other. They didn’t know where to start, they didn’t know where they stand or how much love they still had for each other. 

At the abandoned forest near the river stood Nia looking out to the river where the moonlight shone reflecting her scarred face. Years of battle left her the reputation of Ice Queen, the kills she had made her fearless. She heard footsteps behind her as she gathered her thoughts and turned around, there kneeling on the grass was Echo her trusted warrior. 

Echo greeted her: “Ai Kwin.” 

Nia nodded as she asked: “Ste Em Odon?” 

Echo continued to nod as she answered: “The mountain is no more.” 

Octavia listened closely as she hid behind the bushes a few feet from the Ice Nation people, she clutched her fists as she observes Nia and Echo. Traitors.   
Clarke gently traced the pendant on her neck as she thought back to her dad, this pendant was from her dad. Her dad was the most important person to her and she vividly remembered what he told her: “Be strong, Clarke. You are stronger than you think you are.” As she got lost in the memory of her dad, she didn’t notice the large wooden doors opened entering Lexa without her armor. 

Lexa stood there admiring Clarke, in that moment, she looked stunning her face shows no anger. She was peaceful, happy even, holding her pendant and just gently touching it and caressing it. Lexa once thought love is a weakness, she still believes that now more than ever because the Ice Queen is within Polis with them. Costia was a healer, she supported Lexa in everything she does. She gave her strength when she was down, she loves her like she does and when she lost her, her whole world fell apart. 

Nothing made sense anymore, she wanted revenge she wanted to kill, everything and everyone. Then came Clarke, she was a force that couldn’t be stopped. Clarke challenged her, she pushed her to the limits, she put down all her walls and made her want to believe in love again. When she left her on the mountain, Lexa lost herself also there couldn’t be Lexa anymore there could only be the commander. Lexa was weak but the commander was strong. 

Lexa took a step forward as the floor board creek loudly underneath her boots, Clarke looked up alarmed at first but when she saw Lexa her eyes relaxed a bit and looked at her. 

Clarke walked closer to her as she said: “Commander, what do you need?” 

Lexa grimaced as she looked at Clarke, there goes that title Commander again. Lexa walked closer to her saying: “We need to prepare, the Ice Nation is marching upon us we need to prepare both our people.” Clarke looked at Lexa, Lexa's eyes held a dark stare something happened to Lexa these three months and she will find out what happen. 

Clarke nodded as she said: “I will prepare my people.” 

Lexa quickly corrected her and answered: “Our people.” 

Clarke sighed as she looks at Lexa, she was tired since they came down from the drop ship all they had been doing is fight.   
Clarke looked at Lexa her voice cracking softly as she said: “If you betray me again.” Lexa quickly cut her off again and answered: “I won’t.” Now Clarke has become her people, she can protect her now she will protect her or she will die trying. She won’t let another person she loves die by the hands of the Ice Queen. 

Before Clarke could ask for proof, Lexa stared deeply into Clarke’s eyes and kneeled down on both of her legs. The cold brick ground of the throne room connecting to her legs, she heard a soft gasp as she looked at Clarke. Clarke was astounded, she was speechless the commander bows before no one and Lexa bowed to her. Lexa looked up to Clarke connecting into the eyes of the woman she loves and said: “I swear fealty to you Clarke Kom Skaikru, I vow to treat your needs as my own, your people as my people.” Clarke could see the sincere and love from her eyes as she held her hand out for Lexa, 

Lexa stood up as she gazed deeply into Clarke’s eyes. Lexa knew her betrayal hurt Clarke and she would need to gain that trust back, she didn’t regret that decision but she regret hurting her. She would give Clarke everything she could give so starting from her, by the bow she gave Clarke herself and her trust. She would give anything to make Clarke happy, if she is happy then so would she be. The candles around them illuminating warmth to both of them, maybe they could both heal together.

Thousands of Ice Nation warriors stood before the mountain above Polis, Queen Nia stood observing her army as she glanced at them and the torch burning on top of the last standing Polis building. Her army filled with assassins and smart advisors, she stood proudly observing them. She raised her sword as she announced to her army: “PEOPLE OF AZGEDA! We suffered long under the reign of a child and we will rule once again! People of Azgeda will you follow me?!” The Ice Nation warriors raised their swords yelling: “Sha!” They raised their swords channeling their war cry as the soldiers parted forming a single line for someone to approach to the queen. A girl around the age of Lexa walked towards Queen Nia, the moonlight shone on the girl’s face. Her face was filled with different shapes of scars, white warpaint was located on her forehead and half of her face as she bowed before the queen. 

She greeted: “Ai Kwin.” 

Nia nodded as she lifts the girl’s chin up smiling wide as she greeted her prize warrior: “Ontari.”


End file.
